I Refuse
by xxAir
Summary: Now that the Sacred Holy War is over, Lavi finds himself at a crossroad. His duties as a Bookman is now fulfilled and it is time for him to leave. How will he react when Mia, his now ex-girlfriend, shows up just as he's leaving? What will he do? What is Mia going to do?


Lavi turned and glanced back at the Black Church he had been working with for his last record. The war was now over and it was time for him to leave. He had recorded down what he needed. He was a Bookman to be after all. He was only there to record history, he was there by chance. His life as 'Lavi' was now over. Now was the time to move on to his next record. Or that's what he keeps telling himself.

"It's time to go, kid." Bookman spoke to his successor. "There's nothing here anymore."

Lavi turned and faced the road ahead of him, the one he chose and smiled his false smile. It was odd, since when did he have to fake about his chosen career as a Bookman? The war had left a larger impact on him then he ever thought it would. There was also the thing about Gramps… but most of all, it had been _her._ But, he knew, he couldn't let Gramps seem him _attached_. It was just a recording after all. There's nothing for him to record anymore at the Order.

"Lavi." Bookman and Lavi turned to face the source of the sound.

"Mia-chan?" Lavi gasped. She was the last person who he thought he'd see when he left. He played with her. He was her beloved and yet it was all fake. He isn't supposed to get close to anyone. He isn't supposed to place anyone in his heart; it would just cause unnecessary trouble when he needed to leave. Like now. He was only there to record. Any unnecessary actions would only create pains for others. He knew that. All of it. Yet, he still made her his.

"You really are going, aren't you?" Mia sighed and glanced at the ground.

"Mia…" Lavi called silently wanting to go there and embrace her, but how can he when he has to go?

"I'll give you two some time." Gramps said and moved away.

"Mia, I thought you wouldn't be here." Lavi said, his voice light. He was still in shock as he slowly moved towards the girl.

_Slap!_

"Why wouldn't I be here, Jerk?" Mia shouted, tears in her eyes.

"I thought… but…" Lavi gasped.

"You thought wrong, Lavi…no, I guess you're not 'Lavi' anymore, are you, _Junior_?" Mia smiled silently, still hiding her heart-shaped face behind her bangs. "Junior, how dumb do you think I am? I _knew_ from the start. I knew that this day would come if not sooner then later. You're a _Bookman_. You were here to record what happens in the Sacred War and nothing else. So I was glad when you started to be with me…"

"Mia-chan…" Junior interrupted.

"Don't interrupt me, Jr." Mia warned, reaching out to push his outstretched hands away. Instead her fingers found their ways between his. Their hands dangled, fingers interlocking, yet not touching. She didn't pull away; she knew it would be the last time she'd get to feel his warmth. "I knew it couldn't last though, I knew I shouldn't have been with you. It would only lead to pain, I'm a smart girl, Jr., give me that much. But even with that in mind, I couldn't get you out of my mind, I found myself loving you… I was glad for the ha-happy moments I got to share with you, no matter how little it was. I knew I was nothing more than a blob of ink. Something that wouldn't have any place in your heart. I knew… I knew that t-the times we spend were all but a pitiful lie… b-but it was enough because y-you were t-there…" Tears fell and splattered to the entwined hands.

"A-as the days neared, you became more distant… you tried to cover it up, being a playboy. It didn't work Jr., I-I already knew. T-then yesterday… I can't explain what happened there. Just what were you th-thinking?" Mia continued, her vision was blurry now, she couldn't see anything anymore.

"…" Jr. looked with sad eyes at the petite girl being as brave as she could before him. Her small frame was rocking from her sniffles now. He bit his lip, what he did last night was to punish himself, it was meant to give him the pain that he would never feel. He had been stupid, pulling that stunt. He pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her. "I wasn't thinking." He whispered as Mia broke into sobs. He didn't know it would hurt her this much.

"I knew… from the start… Jr." She said between sobs. "Th-there was no 'Lavi'."

Jr. one green eye widened. Mia was right. Rarely had she ever called him 'Lavi'. It was always 'Jr.'. How could he have missed that? Wasn't he a Bookman? "Mia-chan…" Junior shushed and slowly patted her back trying to comfort her. Junior looked back, shocked as Mia pushed herself from his chest suddenly.

Mia leaned up and sealed her lips with his. She pulled back, leaving a stun bunny. "I refused to be a blob of ink. I'm not going to be a memory, Jr. As punishment, you're to go and remember me. You're never allowed to forget me, Jr. I love you." She smiled cutely, holding her hands tight, one folded under the other.

Junior blinked once in shock and two at the sudden loss of warmth from his lover. A smirk finalized on his face after his shock and his green eye took noticed of how she was the one keeping herself at a distant now. Junior placed his hand on her chin and tilted her head up. Now it was Mia's turn to be shocked.

Junior wrapped his arms around her and whispered to her ear. "I would never forget you. I love you too, Mia." He caressed her cheek as he turned to leave, turning back to wave once. "Never, Mia!" He promised.


End file.
